In 2013 the Black Rock City Subway went from an underground project to controversial playa sensation. While its appearance was a shock to many people, it was the culmination of a multi-year project between the Nevada Department of Transportation, the Bureau of Land Management, and Black Rock City LLC.

Technological Marvel Resurrected!

Taking advantage of the soft playa mud during the winter months, the Nevada Department of Transportation buried pre-constructed subway conduits along the planned 4:30 radial road. These amazing tube segments were salvaged from the famed, but doomed, Tesla Casino, Resort and Particle Accelerator once located in Sparks Nevada. Using the Secret Plans of Jules Verne, they have been assembled into a hyper efficient subway, with trains frequently arriving before they depart. The use of brass, wood, blown glass and strangely glowing crystals will amaze and inspire Steam Punks, Sparkle Ponies and dust rats alike. The only change made to Tesla’s design has been to secure the glowing crystal lattices behind transparent aluminum, to reduce the potential for passenger chroniton contamination and possible temporal dislocation.

As the Black Rock City Department of Public Works built the city, they uncovered the access points to the subway conduits and added ladder based access. Elevator and escalator access to the Black Rock City Subway will not be available until 2025. Teleportation service from the surface to the tunnels is expected in 2019, but may require the rending of souls from flesh.

How to Use The Black Rock City Subway

Subway tunnel access points can be found at 4:20 & Walk-In Camping, intersections along the 4:30 radial road, and at several camps who have volunteered to host stations. Look for the station markers, which will be placed prominently in high traffic areas. Due to shifts in the winter playa mud, the drunkenness of the DPW when they laid out the roads and the multi-phasic nature of the Tesla Underground Railway Tunnels, the access point may occasionally drift away from the station markers. Don’t be afraid to search the area for subway access ladders. Keep an eye out for people emerging from holes in the ground, like dust covered C.H.U.D.s.

Like ice and coffee, the Black Rock City Subway does require a form of payment. Before attempting to ride, obtain a Black Rock City Subway Token from any participating station. Black Rock City Subway Tokens can also be used for Mutant Vehicle rides! Just ask around, someone will have one they will happily gift or barter to you. Genuine Black Rock City Subway tokens come in both black and red ink, and are equipped with an x-ray lithographed beryllium PFID (Psychic Frequency ID) chip. The PFID chip not only prevents counterfeiting, carrying one is necessary for most humans to perceive the station entrances. It is possible to enter the station without a token, in the correct state of mind.

2013 Black Rock City Subway Stations

  • 2:00 & Holy – Basshenge
  • 2:30 & Airstrip – M*A*S*H 4207th
  • 3:00 & Airstrip – Light and Illusion
  • 3:15 & Extraterrestrial – Gypsy Nebula Village
  • 4:00 & GDP – Dye With Dignity
  • 4:10 & Biggie Size – Particle Station
  • 4:20 & Walk-In Camping – The Outback
  • 4:45 & Extraterrestrial – Devachan Lounge
  • 4:45 & False Idol – New York Dangerous
  • 4:45 & False Idol – LoveLand
  • 5:45 & Desiderata – Blackrock Cantina
  • 6:00 & Rod’s Road – Greeters
  • 6:45 & Desiderata – Midnight Poutine
  • 7:00 & GDP – No Name Station
  • 7:15 & Consumer – Contraptionists
  • 7:15 & Extraterrestrial – CAMP ANITA
  • 7:30 & Extraterrestrial – Retrofrolic
  • 7:30 & Holy – Mystopia
  • 8:00 & Rod’s Road – Costco Soulmate Trading
  • 8:15 & Consumer – Awesome Town
  • 8:45 & Esplanade – The Talk To God Phone Booth
  • 8:45 & GDP – 7 Deadly Gins
  • 9:00 & Plaza – The Breakfast Club
  • Lamplighter Chapel & Center Camp – Lamplighter Village Stop

“Black Rock City” and “Burning Man are trademarks of Black Rock City LLC. “Nevada Department of Transportation” is owned by the citizens of Nevada. “BLM” and “Bureau of Land Management” are owned by the citizens of the United States. This site is a parody, and as such all trademark use is legal under the fair use doctrine. If you send me a takedown notice, I’ll have my friends at the Electronic Frontier Foundation politely explain parody to you.

Black Rock City, now with Trains!